i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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