i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
