yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
