u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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