and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She bit a glass in half.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
