hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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