As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
