what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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