Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
