I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
