I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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