I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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