Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
