The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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