super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
