Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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