yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
