Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
