So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
