I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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