The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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