jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
