they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
