just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize