FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
