Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
