She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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