You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
