My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize