I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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