I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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