not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
