let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
