My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
