i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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