I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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