It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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