Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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