Kareoke will never be a sober sport
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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