i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
