fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
