I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
