He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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