Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize