evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
All I want is dick and wine.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
