Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I want to fling myself into the sun
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
