My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
