i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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