quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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