apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
