I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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