I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
