please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
