yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
