You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
