Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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