Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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