The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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