well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
