Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
