I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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