I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm just crazy horny about you
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Fuck me I smell like cheese
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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