No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
