whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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