I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
