just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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