Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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