just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
